To Err is Human...
...To Forgive, Ridiculous.
I’m a longtime member of a spiritual fellowship in which the concept of forgiveness is often a topic of discussion. That said, when the hoary “First we have to forgive ourselves” trope rears its narcissistic head my eyes roll so hard you can almost hear them clank inside my head.
For me, and others like me, the preferred default in this context is to be worthy of forgiveness.
It takes no profound intellectual understanding, or a leap of faith for that matter, to acknowledge, if we are being honest with ourselves and others, that an awful lot of our apologies, the time-tested classic, “I’m really(really!) sorry…,” all too often have a concealed and unspoken parenthetic appendage, namely (“…that I got caught doing what I’m apologizing for.”)
None of this is in any way intended to be accusatory. I’m as guilty of this all too human bullshit as everyone else. Guilt, shame and self-flaggelation have their place on the sliding scale of human neuroses, but, other than the saint, the masochist, or the aforementioned self-flaggelant, it’s the rare sort who actually apologizes sincerely, and comes genuinely clean, before they’re cornered and trapped, with nowhere to go but confession and contrition.
And just as I’m taking responsibility for my own chickenshit contribution to this endless charade, I also don’t want to diminish the merit of apology, despite that unspoken regret that I didn’t get away with it this time. Even insincere regret has its value and worth, however muddled and aspirationally self-protective as it might be.
That said, we haven’t heard anything even vaguely resembling an apology from the swarm of craven lickspittles who have aided and abetted, for four long years, in the destruction of the social, political and moral fabric of this country, with what has to be called a gleeful disregard for the nation, its laws, and its constitution.
We haven’t even been blessed with the classics we’ve come to expect from our elected white and white collar criminals, “I misspoke.” “Mistakes were made.” “I’m stepping down to spend some time with my family.”
These loathsome moral cripples were more than willing to more than put up with being insulted, to be shamed, to allow their families to be spoken of in ways so vile and damning by this crass caricature of wealth, that any other man or woman possessed of even a trace of courage, an iota of character, would regard as the last words to be heard before simple self-respect ended the conversation for good and but good.
But no such acknowledgment of responsibility, let alone shame, has emerged from this pack of hyenas. After four years of putting aside anything even vaguely resembling that self-respect, after abasing themselves, heads proudly shoved up the ass of this tragicomically inept strip mall Mussolini, signing off on his every whim, after selling themselves, their careers, their legacies to a degree that would make a strung-out crack whore think twice with a blush, these swinish mountebanks haven’t expressed a whiff of guilt, a jot of shame, a whisper of responsibility for the damage they’ve done to a country that I love.
After this week’s assault on the capitol of the United States by a moron mob of misbegotten White American Nazi ethnonationalist terrorism enthusiasts, who apparently saw themselves as costumed heroes in valiant mortal combat with a fantasized fanfic cult created deep state brotherhood of evil pederasts, a cadre inspired, encouraged, financed and yes, hired by this nihilistic brother and sisterhood of soulless elected opportunists, we now hear heartfelt entreaties for unity, for healing, for an end to divisiveness in the name of civility from these shamelessly feckless shitheels.
This brings to mind the punchline of an old joke. A murderer, found guilty for the killing of mom and dad, begs the court for leniency. “After all, judge, I am an orphan.” It might date back to Lizzie Borden, or the Menendez brothers, or Oedipus, for fuck’s sake. Time honored comedy gold, in any case.
In a transparent, gormless and disgusting attempt at deflection from the criminal acts committed by these elected officials, not content with betraying their own allegiance to the constitution, and seeing an opportunity to co-opt this shithead swarm of Nazi cosplayers to their own benefit, we’re asked to feel sympathy for a veteran who betrayed her own country and died in that act of betrayal.
We’re asked not to smirk at the fatuous credulity of a woman, expressing her shock and dismay at being maced, for heaven’s sake, and thus halted in her illegal and treasonous assault on the Capitol. “How dare they?” Seems to be her state of mind in that video. You can’t make this shit up.
We’re asked to stop laughing at the Nazi terrorist cum complete and obvious shmuck who accidentally tasered himself to death by way of his genitals. See above in regard to not being able to make this shit up.
We’re asked to ignore the indisputable and undeniable truth, a truth made inviolable by the events of the past four years, that had this treasonous crowd not been White ethnonationalists, they would have been machine gunned by Capitol police before they crossed the street.
As a nation, we and our allies proudly, if not entirely successfully, De-Nazified Germany in the late 1940s, a now reunited nation which now finds itself, ironically for those of you who haven’t paid attention, as the acknowledged head of the free world.
We let the secessionists of the CSA walk away after four years of senseless and bloodsoaked treason in 1865, with no real repercussions for those responsible for the mayhem, and these past four years, capping off the tumult of the century and half since that first American Civil war, to be sure, have demonstrated to no uncertain degree that that war never really decisively ended.
That said, I am thoroughly convinced we are in for more terrorism, insurrection and treason, and pretty damned soon, considering all the ongoing social media chatter from the American Nazi wing of the polity.
In that regard I am equally convinced we’re not quite finished with these shameless, craven, reflexive and deflective requests for unity, for healing, for an end to this unfortunate divisiveness from the elected enablers of this treachery, seeking to position themselves as heirs apparent to the gold plated toilet throne of American fascism.
Needless to say, you and yours are more than welcome to make your own decisions in this regard. Forgive and forget, at your own peril—see, in this regard, racism and white supremacy in the United states, since its inception, for reference on just how well that’s worked out for us.
I, for one, despite my membership in that above-mentioned spiritual fellowship, have no forgiveness to offer, no hands across the aisle to reach out in the name of unity.
And I have to apologize—and I really, really mean it this time—for the fact that I haven’t got a lot of suggested solutions for this. Of course, first and foremost, it seems to me that maybe adding a big swathe of diversity to the population of US prisons might be a swell start.
What I do know for certain is that I cannot and will not sign off on reconciliation without consequences…and I’m also convinced that, even if there had been apologies from this pack of congenital liars, frauds and charlatans, they wouldn’t have been worth a damn.
In this case, as a not all that dear but certainly departed friend often said in regard to the confession booth, contrition is bullshit.
As ever, I remain,
Howard Victor Chaykin…a Prince, cursed and blessed in equal measure with a sense of irony.